Time and again I come across corporate profiles written in a language that don’t seem to be English at all. They are so full of jargons and adjectives weaved into one tight nothing! I keep reading a lot of words which has no meaning to me.
Here is a fine example of ‘talking’ a lot and saying nothing. The business deals with flowers and gifts, but I shall not name the entity, just the initials will do.
HT is a floral design firm acclaimed for its bold attempts to inject vibrancy and excitement to conventional floral creations. HT is inspired to bringing dazzles to bouquets, inspiring emotions and joy to life. HT seeks to give the best by crafting warmth through its flowers to touch your loved ones and creating stunning floras to forge new relations, strengthen corporate ties or simply to brighten a dull day.
All I can sum up is that HT is just a florist. Everything else is noise.
“acclaimed for its bold attempts to inject vibrancy and excitement to conventional floral creations” – acclaimed? did it win awards? if so, why not mention it?
“inspired to bringing dazzles to bouquets” — What does this mean, really?
“inspiring emotions and joy to life” – Do we need to be inspired to feel emotion and joy?
“seeks to give the best by crafting warmth through its flowers” — So HT craft warmth with its flowers and therefore they are giving their best? I am confused.
Here’s my humble attempt to unravel the corporate babble:
What do you want our flowers to say? That is the first question we at HT ask our customers. We all know that flowers are used for a myriads of situations and purposes. We at HT will bend our backs, and our floral arrangements, to give you stunning floral creations that send just the right message.
If it is a loved one that you are giving flowers to, we add warmth into our design. If you want to forge a new business relationship, we will add a touch of class and respect to your name with the right choice of flowers. Tell us the message you want to send, and we will say it with flowers.
Some of our customers are already referring to us as a design firm rather than a florist! Honestly, we can’t blame them. Come find out if they are right.
Ah! the joy of simple English.
But that is just my opinion. Which version do you prefer? HT’s or mine? Why?